Balancing Act…

12.10.09

Sometimes all it takes is a chance…and in that chance everything changes.

Over a month ago, I decided to move to New Hampshire and start a new chapter in my life. While I love Massachusetts, I felt as if my life was on pause. My weight loss started to come to a halt, my social life was non-existent, being unemployed was becoming a huge burden, and at times I felt as if the weight of the world was pressing down on my shoulders. It was hard for me to up and leave my family in Massachusetts but it was necessary. I needed to start living my life for me, and not for everyone else.

New Hampshire has already brought many wonderful changes in my life.

After being unemployed for over a year, I am starting a new job on Saturday. It is only part time at the moment, but that is fine with me because I need to learn how to balance losing weight, working, having a social life and being in a relationship with an amazing man.

That’s right lovelies…I am completely and utterly smitten with a man named JJ. Our story is just beginning but we both have a feeling that it is going to be the start of something beautiful. JJ is simply wonderful and extremely supportive of my weight loss journey. He was the one that actually gave me the boot in the butt to write this blog post and I have a feeling I will be blogging more frequently thanks to him. Blogging is something I have always wanted to stick with but found myself struggling to do so.

As for my weight…

I am six months into my weight loss journey and I am proud to say that I am half way there! I am down over 65 pounds! I have gone from a size 26 pants to a size 16 and for shirts; I have gone from a 3XL to a comfortable Large/Loose X-Large. Losing the weight has does wonders for my self-esteem. I finally love the person I am right now at this very moment…and I love the woman I am becoming. I smile more, laugh louder, and enjoy the little things in life. I’m no longer fixated on my weight and on being the “fat girl”…I’m simply me, Kayla…and I love it!

Since my move, I have become quite the fan of nature. Rain, snow, or shine- I am out there walking and hiking in the woods. Last week, I jogged two miles; non-stop…This is a HUGE accomplishment for me. I have always wanted to be a jogger, and instead of telling myself I will never be one, I can now say that I am slowly becoming a jogger! My longest jog has been 3 miles so far, but in do time I will be able to jog for longer.

I’m slowly learning how to balance everything in my life right now. I need to remember the important things in life, and while some people might not see blogging/tweeting important, I do. Without the support I found through this blog and without the love I found on Twitter, I wouldn’t be 65 pounds lighter. Each and every one of you helped motivate me and kept me going. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

Remember: Wish It, Dream It, Do It!

A few pictures from the past month:

My Daily Morning Hike:

Map Of My Hike: Red and Yellow Trail (4 Miles)

Me:

I Heart New Hampshire:

The Man Who Has Captured My Heart, JJ:

:)

40 Days and 40 Nights Of Simply Living...

11.9.09

Yes, I’m alive!

For over the past month, I decided to stop living my life through the numbers on my scale, pedometer, calorie trackers and simply LIVE!

In the past 40 days, I:

Enjoyed the beautiful Fall Foliage of New Hampshire:

Ate a GINORMOUS Honey Crisp Apple:

Toured the Budweiser Brewery:

Drank A Beer:

Drank A Few More Beers:

Fondled A Gourd:

Hugged A Pony:

 

Tried On Hats:

Posed For Pictures:

 

Met An Ass:

Ate Everything I Could That Had Pumpkin In It:

Smiled:

Bought My First NEW Pair Of Jeans Since Losing 50 Pounds:

 

Listened To A Babbling Brook:

Enjoyed More Fall-ness:

Became A Zombie:

Danced Like No One Was Watching:

Sang Like No One Was Listening:

Loved Like I Had Never Been Hurt:

Made Good Decisions:

Made A Few Bad Decisions (Oops):

Went To The Harry Potter Exhibit In Boston:

Spent My Last Day In Boston With The Wonderful Katrina:

And The Amazing Nicole:

Said Goodbye To Boston:

And Hello To My New Home, New Hampshire:

Finally Faced Reality:

And am now back to the old Calorie-Counting, Pedometer Wearing, Scale Junkie who is determined to continue her weight loss journey and blog about it all: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

:)

Biggest Loser Challenge (Starting Stats)

9.29.08

I LOVE Challenges…So, when I read about the Biggest Loser Challenge, I was excited to join!

Here are my starting stats for the Biggest Loser Challenge:

Current Weight (Starting Weight):

252

Current Measurements (Starting Measurements):

Waist: 43

Hips: 52

Thighs: 26.5

Arms: 18

Goals For Challenge:

1. Fit comfortably in my Old Navy 18’s.

2. Track EVERYTHING I eat and drink

3. Spend quality time with “Jim”, five days a week.

4. Complete my C25K training

5. Be happy and healthy…EVERY DAY!

Starting Pictures:

Ocean = Happiness…

9.28.09

I adore the ocean…Simply adore it!

The moment my lips get a taste of that salt air and the feel of sand between my toes, I am quite the happy girl. The ocean is a magical place for me. It eases my worries, fills me with hope and reminds me to live life to the fullest.

I spent the day collecting sea life for my cousin Nicole’s oceanography class. Nicole and her awesome friend Angelina stayed close to shore looking for sea creatures as I ventured off on my own. As I searched under rocks for crabs, I couldn’t help but realize how content I was. For the first time in a long time, I felt completely and utterly happy. And I wasn’t happy just because I was at the beach (Although, that would be reason enough.) I was happy because I wasn’t worried about how fat my butt looks sticking up in the air as I am bent over or if people on the shore were wondering how a whale got beached on the rocks. I wasn’t focused on my weight, I wasn’t focused on how other perceived me…I was simply living life without a care in the world.

I know to some this might not seem like a big deal, but to me, it is. For so long I have been that girl that thinks EVERYONE is judging her. If someone walked by me laughing, they were laughing at me. If someone was whispering, they were whispering at me. If someone at the gym looked over in my direction, they were thinking how fat I was.

But not today…Today was focused on enjoying the beauty of the ocean and searching for sea life.

(Nicole- You are amazing! I am so blessed to have you as my cousin. Thank you for being my shoulder to cry on, my light in the darkness, and my best friend. But most importantly, thank you for being you! Love you lots, Nicolaaa! Cereal & Potato! <3)

Week Sixteen Weigh In...

9.28.09

Previous Weight: 246.4

Current Weight:

I didn’t weigh in last week because I knew I wouldn’t like the number staring back at me. This week I couldn’t avoid it any longer. Yes, I had a six pound gain in two weeks. I am not going to beat myself up over it any more than I already have. I have realized a lot in the past fourteen days. After writing a letter to myself and the ongoing love and support from wonderful friends and family, I am ready to move forward.

One major thing I have learned over the past two weeks…

Tough Love

9.25.09

Dear Kayla,

What the hell are you doing? For almost four months you have been working your ass off (literally) to lose weight and become a healthier person. And now…for the past 10 days you have done nothing but sabotage your hard work. Sure you have been going to the gym regularly; I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about your food intake, or lack of food I should say. Can you honestly remember the last time you ate three sensible meals and two healthy snacks?? And don’t even try to pass off candy corn as a healthy snack just because it has the word “Corn” in it. What are you doing to yourself? You are slipping back to your old ways, and pretty soon those 54 pounds you lost are going to sneak right back and who knows how much extra poundage will come with it.

It is time for you to face the music…It is time for you to be honest with yourself for just once in your life. Oh…you don’t think I know what you do? How you try to pretend everything is going swell in your life, but deep down you are struggling? Or how you haven’t been logging your food intake because you can’t face the fact that you have had an off week? I hate to be the one to break this to you but…YOU ARE HUMAN! Everyone makes mistakes, it is normal. What isn’t normal is giving up on yourself because you had one lousy week. Pick yourself up, start planning your meals out again, and for the love of GOD, start drinking something else other than COFFEE! Yes, it is delicious and all, but when was the last time you drank your required water intake? Yeah…I can’t remember either.

Oh and another thing…You are BEAUTIFUL! Yes, you and all 246 pounds of you. Stop staring in the mirror and pointing out your flaws. Who cares if you have a big forehead or too many freckles? People actually pay money for high foreheads. (It’s true, it was on an episode of “America’s Next Top Model”) And as for your freckles…Big Deal! When you get a lot of them, they almost merge into a tan. (Okay, maybe not…but just trying to be positive.) Your low self-esteem NEEDS to stop and quickly. I know you don’t hate yourself completely. I see you smile at yourself every now and then when you look in the mirror. You should ALWAYS be smiling at yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for thinking you are pretty or liking the way your nose crinkles when you laugh…LOVE YOURSELF! IF you don’t start loving yourself unconditionally…no one ever will. And by the way…all your clothes are too big not because your “fat ass” stretched them all out…it is because you are smaller now! I know it is hard to wrap your head around the fact that you have gone from a size 24 to a size 18, but you have! End of story.

It is time to start making some MAJOR changes in your life. It is time for you to get back on track with your weight loss journey. There is no waiting for Monday to come so you can start the week off fresh because let’s be honest…Monday will come and you will slip up and just wait again until the following Monday and then the next thing you know you are back up to 300 pounds and miserable. Did you forget how miserable you were? Did you forget how you barely got out of bed? Or how you closed yourself off from the world? Did you forget how you stopped caring about yourself and everything around you? I didn’t forget…those memories still haunt my mind and I will not allow you to go back to that dark place. The time for change is NOW. Not Monday, not October 1^st…NOW.

Keep pushing forward, Kayla...

Love yourself….

And remember:

You are WORTH it!

Love always,

Kayla xoxo

P.S. Do NOT allow yourself to go back to this...

Fat and Alone.

Nothing like tough love, huh?

My Love Affair With Jim...

9.17.09

Love is an amazing feeling…and I am completely head over heels in love with “Jim.”

“Jim” is the last thing I think of before falling asleep, and the first thing I think of when I wake up. I find myself getting up early just so I can rush off and see “Jim”. Within minutes of being with “Jim”, my heart starts to race and my palms become sweaty. “Jim” knows how to get me hot and sweaty like no other. With “Jim”, minutes fly by and before I know it, my eighty minutes of quality time is over. I’m left feeling weak in the knees and completely out of breath. But I love it and every day I go back for more because “Jim” and I are in love.

You could almost say it was…

Did I forget to mention that "Jim" is actually my new Gym? Hehe. :)